Sirius Black's Pranksters List of Things To Do Before We Graduate
by ReallyTheBiggestHarryPotterFan
Summary: Sirius Black is bored. The first weekend of the year has started, and he wants to make his last year at Hogwarts count, so he suggests to the other Marauders that they do everything on a certain list before they graduate. Will they finish the list in a year? Or, more importantly, will Prongs stop talking about Lily long enough to help? Rated T just in case. ON HOLD FOR NOW
1. Chapter 1: The Idea

Sirius Black was bored. He was the kind of person who needed constant entertainment. A Healer friend of his mothers said he had AHDD, or something like that.

"Prongs, I'm bored!" he whined to his best friend, James.

"Why am I not surprised, its been, what, two minutes since our last class of the week finished and we haven't started a prank yet," he grinned.

"Wait, that gives me a better idea! Go get Moony and Wormtail!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I'm not your slave," James said, rolling his eyes, but he went anyway.

"Sirius, I thought we'd agreed to take it easy this weekend," Remus (Moony) sighed.

"But Remmy, it's our last year at Hogwarts! We have to go out with a bang!" Sirius said incredulously.

"I agree with Sirius," Peter (Wormtail) said quickly.

"Much as I hate to admit it, he's right," James said, "We have to make this year count, or Hogwarts will remember us as 'just that old bunch of pranksters'."

"This brings me to the reason I have called you all to this sacred place, the room of requirement. Remember that day in the beginning of sixth year when we were so bored we made a list of all the things we wanted to do before we left Hogwarts? Well, when I was looking for something in my trunk yesterday, I found it!"

"Wow!"

"Cool!"

"Gross!"

They all looked at Remus,

"What, he practically admitted he hasn't cleaned out his trunk properly since the beginning of sixth year!" Remus said defensibly.

"My dear, naïve Remus, I haven't cleaned out my trunk properly since the second year," Sirius grinned, "Anyway, I propose we start a Marauders Mission, to do everything on that list before we leave Hogwarts!"


	2. Chapter 2:Task one:the Forbidden Forest

**Disclaimer: Sorry forgot to put one in the previous chapter, I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this fanfic**

"Ok, so the first thing on the list is to camp out in the Forbidden Forest for a whole night," Sirius said. They all regretted accepting the Marauder Mission. Even in their animal form (They had all become Animagi to help Remus, who was a werewolf, during his transformations) the Forbidden Forest was no place to mess with.

"I think we should get it over with tonight, seeing as we have nothing better to do," Sirius said.

"But I thought we were thinking of ways for me to woo Lilly tonight!" James said whinily.

"We can do that in the forest, now come on, pack some camping stuff," Remus said. And so, all thinking that this might possibly be the night known as 'The night the Marauders got attacked by wild animals in the Forbidden Forest' in Hogwarts history, once you have accepted a Marauder Mission you can't back out.

Five minutes later they had all the camping supplies you would need for a night in a monster infested forest, so basically just four sleeping bags, a tent and their wands. They threw on James's invisibility cloak and made their way towards the forest *coughcertaindeathcough*. They only went a few meters into the trees and Hogwarts was hidden from view.

"This place looks okay," said Remus as he flicked his wand to set up their tent. As they were going in they heard a twig snap and all shrieked like little girls and jumped in, zipping it up tightly.

"Guys, it was probably just a bunny or something," Sirius said, pretending that he hadn't screamed the loudest at the sound.

"Yes Sirius, whatever were we thinking, screaming at twigs snapping," James said sarcastically.

Every time they heard a loud noise, they all squeaked and jumped, then tried (and failed) to look like nothing happened. None of them slept very well, naturally. A branch falling down near them woke them at the crack of dawn, and they all ran to the castle and into their beds. Once they had made up for the lack of sleep from the night before, Sirius pulled out the list. Looking grim, he said,

"The next thing on the list is…"

**AN: this is my first story, what do you think? **


	3. Chapter 3: Task Two: The Circus

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Do a circus performance in the Great Hall," Sirius said gleefully.

"But none of us know any circus tricks," Remus pointed out sensibly.

"Awww Remmy, how hard can it be to learn how to do trapeze and juggle? And besides, it doesn't have to be a very _good _circus," Sirius finished with an evil grin.

"As long as I don't have to do anything in a tutu," James said, "it would completely destroy my chances with Lilly!" he declared.

"Yes, because you have _so _much chance with her," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Just this morning, she asked me to pass her the milk! If that's not love, I don't know what is!"

"I'm in too, though its not like any of us have a choice as it is a Marauder's Mission," Said Remus.

Over the next week, each of them learned a trick. Well, tried to learn a trick. Sirius was going to walk the tightrope, James was going to do stunts on his broom, Peter was going to ride a unicycle and Remus was the conductor. Now all they had to do was clear it with Professor Dumbledore. On Friday night, they went up to his office, but to their dismay none of them knew the password.

"James, you're Head Boy, you should know the password!" Sirius whined.

"You are absolutely correct, Mr Black, as Head Boy, he should know the password," they turned around to see Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye.

"That will have to be remedied immediately. The password is chocolate frog. Now, I believe you all have something to ask me?" so they asked him if they could put on a circus in the Great Hall at dinner the following evening.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," he said, "in these dark times we need a little fun and games. Now, off you go to practice for your circus!"

They all hurried off and did what they were told. The following evening, after everyone had finished eating, the Marauders made their way to the front of the Hall. They all summoned the supplies necessary for the circus, which Sirius had come up with at the beginning of the week, with a rather odd look on his face, and refusing to tell them where he got it from. The circus did not go that well. Sirius fell off his tightrope and only just managed to cast a cushioning charm in time, James didn't have enough room to do tricks so he sort of just flew around in circles and Peter couldn't even get onto his unicycle without falling off. Remus did conduct them nicely though. After they finished they got a massive applause, people thought it was hilarious how many times Sirius and Peter fell during their performance. Once they were safely inside their dorm, Sirius took out the parchment and handed it to James.

"Want to do the honors Prongs?"

"Alright. The next thing on the list is…"


	4. Chapter 4:Task Three: The Eating Contest

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Have an eating contest," said James.

"How is this going to get people to remember the Marauders?" Peter asked.

"Some of the things on the list are just things I want to say I did in my last year of Hogwarts, not just impressing people," Sirius answered.

"So, the kitchens?" asked Remus.

"Yes, the kitchens."

They had all slept in, as it was a Saturday, and missed breakfast, and as it was almost lunchtime they were all pretty hungry. They got down to the kitchens and saw the house elves beam in delight that their favourite students had come to them. They requested a large amount of all food, and, being house elves, double the amount of food they had asked for was brought to them in record time. Thanking the elves, the levitated the food up to their dormitory.

"Now the rules are, if you stop eating for more than a minute, you're eliminated," Sirius declared.

They started to eat. At first, they ate super fast as they were hungry, but once they had filled up a bit they slowed down. Fifteen minutes into the competition, James gave up.

"My stomach is just not what it used to be," he sighed, "and the sight of Sirius eating is enough to make anyone feel sick," he finished with a grin.

Five minutes later, Peter gave up and ran to the bathroom. Some rather disgusting sounds could be heard coming from it. They all winced. Peter _had _been looking quite green. The competition grew fiercer, but about fifteen minutes later, Sirius could not take anymore food.

"I give up!" he cried in disgust. "Moony, you have the smallest appetite of all of us, how did you win?" he asked, very confused.

"Simple," said Remus, "while you were all stuffing your faces as fast as you could, I took things much slower and used up less stomach space," he said with a grin. They all gaped at him. Surely that had to be cheating! But none of them had said that they had to eat super fast, so they gave it to him.

"Remus, since you won the competition, would you like to do the honours?" James asked.

"If I _have _to," Remus said jokingly. "The next thing on the list is…"

**AN: please tell me in the comments below what you'd like to be on the list sometime J constructive criticism is also welcome :P **


	5. Chapter 5: Task Four: Fireworks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Set of mid-air fireworks at a quidditch match," he said.

"Sounds pretty good. I've got a whole box of Filibuster's in my trunk right now," said Sirius.

"Of course you do," said Remus with an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling none the less.

They were just lucky that there happened to be a quidditch match two weeks away, but for them it was too far away. Sirius would always want to skip to the next thing on the list, but the others insisted that they do things in chronological order to retain the element of surprise and so they didn't get confused. Since Sirius and James were on the quidditch team, they would both release the fireworks half an hour into the game. They had snuck over to Hogsmeade to get an extra crate of fireworks to ensure that it would be a fantastic display. When it was finally the day of the match, James and Sirius slept in and nearly didn't make it on time. The bludgers and the snitch were released, and the game began. Since it was against Slytherin, they had not been paying much attention to the time, more to the match, and when they looked at the time they were almost too late. They both threw the wet-start fireworks into the air, did the _augumenti_ charm and sped away so they would at least not be directly at the scene of the crime when the fireworks went off. And when they did go off, the Marauders were almost proud enough of the mayhem those swirling, exploding stadium of colour and light were giving off that they almost admitted to doing it. livid, Professor McGonagall vanished the fireworks, and proclaimed that when she found out who did that they would be in for detention until they graduated all the usual stuff. The quidditch match was being rescheduled for the following weekend. Back in the dorm, Sirius offered Peter the parchment.

"Alright guys, the next thing on the list is…"

**AN: please leave suggestions of what you want them to do next in the comments below J**


	6. Chapter 6: Task Five: Papa Smurf

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Paint the house elves blue and have them call Dumbledore Papa Smurf. I don't know about this one guys, Dumbledore might get mad, and what is a Papa Smurf anyway?" said Peter.

"Dumbledore? He won't get mad, he'll be happy we're keeping up with our muggle studies!" Sirius said with an evil grin.

"But what is a Papa Smurf?" asked James.

"Oh, it's just a muggle thing, I'll show you the comics," said Sirius. He then began to get the remaining Marauders well acquainted with the world of the Smurfs. They all agreed that the Smurfs were pretty amazing. After reading, they went down to the kitchens.

"We have a favour to ask you all," Sirius started, "we want to know if it's ok if we put a spell on you to turn you blue that will fade in the next couple of day, and while you are blue, only call Dumbledore Papa Smurf. Is that ok with you guys?"

The house elves, being all naturally obedient and whatnot, immediately agreed to all of it, and lined up for their spells.

"This is going to be so good!" Peter said excitedly, and for once, he was right. Tough house elves were not seen wondering the corridors of Hogwarts, all the students who went to the kitchen found the house elves working away merrily, but were very surprised to see the change in appearance. The muggleborn students guessed what was going on, and some of the half-bloods, but mostly people were bewildered to see _blue _house elves working in the kitchen. When Professor Dumbledore came down to tell them what to make for the meals that day, they were perfectly courteous, except for the Papa Smurf thing. Dumbledore just chuckled, knowing a thing or two about muggle comic books.

"Ok guys, next thing on the list is…"

**AN: a guest posted the idea for this chapter, thank you so much :) Also if anyone else wants to make a suggestion they are welcome, even if it isn't an addition to the list and is a side-plot or something and sorry for such a short chapter :( **


	7. Chapter 7: Task Six: Slytherpinks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Turn all the Slytherins pink," he said.

"Now _that's _a good one," Sirius said as he grinned evilly. It was decided that Peter would be the one to do it as he could turn into a rat so no one could see him. Peter didn't like this idea. Not one bit.

With much trepidation, he transformed and scuttled his way towards the Slytherin dormitories. Luckily, someone had said the password and let him in without knowing it. He hid in a corner, waiting for everyone to leave the common room. Ten o'clock. Eleven o'clock. Twelve o'clock. Finally, the last person left the common room at around one

. He waited half an hour to make sure everyone had fallen asleep. He transformed back into a human and went up to the boy's dorm, quickly doing the spell, making sure he didn't miss any rooms. He knew he couldn't get up the girls staircase in human form, so, as a rat he scurried up the banister.

After he was done turning them pink, he walked down the stairs, forgetting the wards. The staircase made siren noises and turned into a ramp, depositing him at the bottom.

He only just managed to turn into a rat and hide before at least a dozen people came running down both staircases. He rushed out and ran as fast as his little rat legs could take him. He recounted the story to his friends, who found it _very _funny. Oh ha ha ha, Peter nearly died, ha.

Eyes streaming with tears of laughter, Sirius took out the list.

"Ok guys, the next thing on the list is…"

**AN: any ideas for what to do next are welcome :)**


	8. Chapter 8: Task Seven: A Love Of Forks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Stick everyone's hands to the cutlery at dinner time," Sirius said.

"So we're going to have to go to the kitchens and convince the house elves to let us tamper with the cutlery?" James asked.

"Right you are James, right you are."

It wasn't that hard to convince the house elves to let them charm the cutlery. They put a sticking charm on just before the house elves served dinner. They ate in the kitchen so they didn't get their cutlery stuck to them, and then went to the Great Hall to observe their handiwork. The first thing that they noticed was the Slytherins. They looked furious. Of course, who wouldn't be furious to find themselves turned pink in their sleep? But everyone else was confused as to why they couldn't put their cutlery down. The sixth and seventh years performed the counter-charm, but the rest of the school would have to wait until the teachers did it for them. Some people were looking at them in an accusing way, so they ran back up to their dorm.

"Moony, like to do the honours?"

"The next thing on the list is…"

**AN: constructive criticism is welcome J also, the idea for this chapter was sent in by a guest. Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9: Task Eight: Why Bertie Why?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Eat a box (each) of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans without taking out the gross flavours," Remus announced. "Though why you would want to do that beats me," he added.

"For the experience, Moony!"

"Fine, fine."

They all got their boxes ready and started eating. Immediately, moans and groans were heard as they tasted some off the grosser flavours. They had all kept lists off the flavours they consumed.

"Okay, I'll read mine out first," Sirius said.

"Cinnamon, dirt, two chocolate, mustard, licorice, firewiskey, three baked bean, two vanilla, butterbeer, four pepper and a jam flavoured bean," Sirius read out. Not including Sirius's, they got cherry, cucumber, vinegar, grass, watermelon, earthworm, fried egg, toast, mushroom, cake, chicken, rice, blueberry, snot, tomato sauce, roasted potato, Christmas pudding, caramel, liver, spinach, vomit, wasabi, salmon, rose, spaghetti, nutella, salt, butter, spit, pancake, lasagna, tuna, lime, coconut, pineapple, lemon, sprouts, toothpaste, candyfloss, icecream, soap, apple, toffee, honey, dog food, tuna, burger and cream flavoured beans, some more than once. By the end of it, they were all feeling sick and decided not to eat any beans for a while.

"Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"Want to read the next thing on the list?"

"Sure. It's…"

**AN: Sorry for not posting for such a long time, but I had exams and then went on a holiday! Updates will be better now, I promise. Any suggestions for the list/story in general or constructive criticism are welcome! :) **


	10. Chapter 10: Task 9: McGonagiggle

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Make Mcgonnagle laugh, which is probably the hardest thing on this list. Guys? What do you think?"  
"I think it was bloody brilliant of me to think of something so challenging," Sirius said in a mock snooty voice, "But I agree with Pete. Not one of the easiest," Sirius added.  
They tried everything. First, they pulled funny faces to her and raised their hands like their lives depended on it, waving them around. When that didn't work, they came to class dressed like mice and ran around, squeaking in terror whenever she came near them. They tried everything. Asking stupid questions. Tripping down the stairs. Even throwing cream pies in eachothers faces. Nothing worked, and they had been trying for nearly a week. Eventually, she caught james on his knees, with the cream pie remnants still on his face from an hour before, telling Lilly he would do ANYTHING if she went on one date with him, even be her servant for a year, but she just replied with a jellylegs jinx, and Mcgonnagle gave a slight chuckle. Releived, the Marauders consulted the list.  
"And the next thing on the list is..."

**AN: Any ideas for the list/story in general/constructive critisism welcome :) **


	11. Chapter 11: Task Ten: NorrisNappers

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Steal Mrs. Norris and ransom her to Filch," he said.

"What are we going to ransom her for?" Peter asked.

"Ten pounds of candy!" said Sirius excitedly.

"Now Sirius, we all know what happens when you eat too much sugar. Remember the Mashed Potato incident of the third year?" Remus said.

"That wasn't my fault, you know that! Digory was asking for it, being a git and everything,"

"If we hexed every git we saw, more than half of Hogwarts would be in the Hospital Wing, including us,"

"But we can still try," Sirius said, and then gazed into the distance, probably daydreaming about hexing Slytherins.

"Shouldn't we get started? I have quidditch practice later, and then Head duties with Lily," James said.

"Always putting quidditch and Lily before your mates!" Sirius huffed.

"Fine, I'll cancel quidditch, but we better be quick with this cat-nap, not the sleeping kind, so I can get back to Head duties or Lily'll kill me!"

"Bah dah dah, dah dah dah, bah dah, dah dah BAM!"

"Sirius, stop singing spy music! We may be under the cloak, but people can still hear us!" James whisper-shouted.

"There she is!" Remus said.

Mrs. Norris turned around and stared at them, her large, yellow eyes freaking them out a bit.

"Can cats see through the cloak? Remus asked James.

"I don't know. Stupefy her quickly before Filch gets here!"

"_Stupefy!" _Remus said, trying to be as quiet as possible. Mrs. Norris fell over. They stuffed her into a bag and ran up to their dorm.

The next morning, there was a sign outside the Great Hall. It read:

_To Mr Argus Filch,_

_We have kidnapped your cat. If you meet us in the Entrance Hall at midnight tonight with ten pounds of candy, we will give you back your cat. If not, we will see how attractive she is to you… WITH HER FUR SHAVED OFF! _

_Wishing you a good day,_

_Anonymous._

Naturally, Mr Filch was horrified that anyone would steal his cat. He ran to Hogsmeade as fast as he could and bought ten pounds of sweets. At midnight, he walked to the Entrance Hall and put the sweets down. He waited. And waited. And waited. At quarter to one, just as he was about to leave, he heard a meow. Mrs. Norris walked towards him from the other side of the Hall. He ran to her and picked her up, telling her what a good kitty she was then ran to his office. Sirius, still under the cloak, took the sweets and ran back to the dormitory. The sweets were good, there were Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's, Sugar Quills and fudge. Naturally, most of it was gone in half an hour.

"Now that we've had a nice snack, the next thing on the list is…"

**AN: The idea for this chapter was sent in by shadowkat678, thanks! If anyone else wants to send in ideas for the list or criticism, they're welcome :).**


	12. Chapter 12: Task Eleven: Not Decaf

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Load Peeves up on caffeine," he said.

"That sounds kind of dangerous…I love it!" James said excitedly.

"Now all we need to do is get Peeves to drink three or more cups or coffee…"

"Just try it!"

"No!"

"Why?"

"I don't trust you,"

"But this will make you more evil!"

"Really?"

"Yes!" Sirius said, exasperated. They had all brought a cup of coffee along, and hopefully Peeves would drink them.

"Alright, I'll do it!" Peeves said, then drank down all four cups. He began zooming around at high speed and knocking over students. He unscrewed three chandeliers, disappeared for a while then came back to dump boiling soup on the unlucky students in the Entrance Hall. Seeing McGonagall, he zoomed away, shrieking at the top of his lungs. All the injured students were sent to the Hospital Wing, and Peeves wasn't seen. That is, until the next morning at breakfast when he flew in and threw spiders into every ones food.

"To the list?" Peter asked.

"Sure Pete. Remus, do the honours?"

"Sure. The next thing on the list is…"

**AN: shadowkat678 had the idea for this chapter, along with LunaPotter-BlackMPP. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! As usual, any suggestions for the list/criticism are welcome :). (::) Virtual cookie! **


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